That taught me that the social media profile of the girl you are dating is a pandora's box really. I think next time I will restrain my curiousity and keep my perception of them to what I can gauge from IRL interactions without being influenced by social media..
OP, I think she is lucky to have found a man as kind and considerate as you have been. Don't give up on her... It's ok to tell her how you feel. Tell her that it's ok to move slowly with the relationship and you will always respect her wishes to remember and include him in her children's lives. But, tell her that the photo on the bed stand bothers you when you stay over. Etc... It will be hard for her, and she may not be ready, but if you approach it with kindness and respect, she will appreciate that..
One or two body guards are usually sufficent to protect Miss World. Half a police squad is routine for protecting male rock bands, or movie stars..