i can almost imagine her without the blue.
I laugh but it's actually a valid point. I must admit that between a 99% match but badly written messages and a 72% match with well written messages, I'd go for the latter..
Well, if OP is, in her words, "unbelievable shy normally and especially around men that I'm attracted to," and that, "I absolutely hate dating and I suck at it," then she's not going to do very well finding a partner, right? Not with that kind of outlook, she's practically sidelined herself before the game has started..
"It was a great spending with a professional escort. Sweet talk, spend a great time with some exotic….
Anyway, I'm concerned that I'd resent being pulled away from my activity groups where I can meet people who are demonstrating in the here and now what their likes/dislikes are and what they can manage physically..
I think your gut feeling is right- she can't be trusted to be a responsible or loyal to you when she drinks. You have the facts about how she behaves while drinking- blacking out, texting old flings, drinking way too much. So it's up to you to decide if you will believe her actions or her words, because they are conflicting. She probably fully intends to not drink in Europe now, but once she gets there and is in the moment, what will she do? My guess is she will drink, and then she "won't remember". Sorry I'm not more optimistic..